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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sweet memories!

So here's an introduction of my journey as a Sri Amanian

Looking back I never thought I would be the person I am today. I,Amiza binti Ahmad Murad has had my fair and share in Sri Aman and I will forever be thankful for all the opportunities given to me. 

It was hard adjusting to a new environment and I hated school.
I dragged myself to school everyday but by Allah the hatred grew into love.

There are so many wonderful and kind people in the school,from the canteen workers to teachers! My teachers never gave up on me in fact they never surrendered to our naughty behaviour.

I remembered going to the KH room to iron our clothes because we had a food fight in the rain.

If you didnt know thats why our school imposed the rule that you cant bring cupcakes to school.
Oops.

In 2010,we shocked the school for getting the best PMR results. 
Ofcourse I was just honoured to be apart of it. 
Alhamdulillah! There are so many great memories that I had in Sri Aman. 

If you are a junior reading this. Or maybe you are still in highschool I would suggest to you that you join as many activities as you can in school. 

Highschool is the time for you to discover yourself. Personally,being a Sri Aman student has taught me to the importance of teamwork,loving your friends unconditionally,and to be a leader! 

I could go on with this but this girl's gotta study. Goodbye. Au revoir! 

Monday, October 29, 2012

Self thought

It surprises me to know how selfish a person can be. Maybe because most of my friends are girls this is actually my first time meeting a very selfish,rude and arrogant boy friend.
Seriously.
What happened to being humble?

Where are your manners?
I have come to realize that some of these boys have zero respect towards women.
Zero. Shame on you.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Bismillah

If I fail I will try again and again and again

My journey doesnt end here. 5 days left

Saturday, October 27, 2012

SPM,stress,strength

I dont want to go through this again. I wonder how did my iman got so low. I cant even bear going through one night without crying.

Thinking of how my family really expects me to score,alhamdulillah they have such confidence in me. But me? Honestly I am nowhere near ready to enter the hall but im trying insyaAllah. I dont want to fail anyone. I dont want to fail myself. I keep on thinking of the what ifs.

 I guess im just only good at advising other people but im bad at taking my own advice. I blame no one but myself. I had put myself in an unnecessary stress and obviously it affected me and my studies.

Ya Allah please help your slave go through this. I dont understand myself anymore. I know that no one can help you but yourself. I just need someone to tell me yes you can do it Miza. I just need some faith in myself. What have I done?
What would my parents think of me?
What would my younger sisters think of me?

I spend so much time trying to please others that I sometimes forget to please Him. I just feel broken and shattered inside. No one knows just because im smiling all the time.

Yes I smile yes I seem to look happy.
You ask why im never sad but I ask you why do I have to tell others and show it to them. Wouldnt it ruin their mood too?

Now im here blogging about it while tears streaming down my face. Can I do it again? Can I repay my parents' sacrifices? I want to make them proud thats all im asking for. I felt and still feel lonely.

Im only a human.
Amiza oh Amiza.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Finding Him


When your opinion is not accepted by the society. When you feel like you have a valid reason or a good opinion. Speak out for yourself. To be honest,since I was young I have always had the problem with letting out my own opinion. Yes im loud and I talk a lot but there are so many things that I want to share but are scared to do so just because I was afraid that it would not be accepted. We live in a society   that is really influenced by the media. For example when the media says oh being stick thin is the in thing. People,young girls especially strive to get the perfect body. Even when they know that it is unattainable. Back in the days when I was in primary school when you have a lot of friends on friendster is that how you spell it? or myspace then you are considered cool. When friends put you as their top 8 and even better top 1 you would feel valuable but the truth is what is it that we are really searching for? Is it popularity,status,money,fame or simply just happiness? What is it that we strive for in this world? I was once a victim in this situation. Maybe because I was trying to discover my own beliefs. After a few years of trying to fit in with the cool kids or whatever. I stopped. One day I broke down. Since that day I became closer to God and alhamdulillah that has made me realize. I live in this world to feel loved yes. Think about what you and I seek. What are we running after and willing to give anything just to hear?

“I’m taking care of you.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“I love you. Always. That will never diminish or change.”
“You can hold on to me.”
“I will never let you down.”
“I will never hurt you.”
“I will never leave you.”
“I will always be there for you.”
“I appreciate you.”
“I see you.”
“I understand you.”
“I know who you are.”
“I’m close to you.”
“I will forgive you.”
“You don’t have to be perfect.”
“I will never abandon you.”
“I will never betray you.”
“I got your back.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“I’m listening. I’m really listening.”
“I’ll never let them hurt you.”
“I’ll always protect you.”
“I’ll never leave you.”
“You are never alone.”
“I will never leave you alone.”
“When everything around you is falling apart, I’ll hold you up.”
“I truly only want what’s best for you.”
“Even when you’re messing up, I will still forgive you.”
“Even when you’re unable to give, I will always give you.”
“Even when you’re fighting me, I’ll still be kind. I still won’t abandon you.”
“No matter what you do, I can always forgive you.”
“I love you despite your weaknesses and your faults.”
“I will give you peace.”
“I will make you happy.”
“I will give you stability.”
“I will give you strength and power.”
“I will cure you.”
“I will give you status and respect.”
“I will always comfort you.”
“No matter how tiny the gesture is, if you do it for me, I’ll appreciate and reward you for it.”
“If you turn to me, I’ll be there for you, no matter what.”
“No matter what you’ve done to me, I can always forgive you.”


 The truth is when we thought that we are looking for a good husband or a good boyfriend,fame or money. We are just looking for God. No wonder we fill empty when those things dont seem to fill our hearts,needs and emptiness but the emptiness was created for us to find Him. Think about it again.

To be continued.
Until then,
have a nice day!