Confession/concept of being grateful and redha

Some days, I feel unhappy and some days, I feel on top of the world. I have to admit, sometimes no matter how much you try to be grateful you will always feel that some other person has better things than you do. No matter how capable your parents are, does not matter that they have provided for your food and education, you will always have friends with parents that can give more. Some one else will always have more, be it, beauty, intelligence or even money. Sometimes, yes I am guilty of thinking that hey, she has this and that, wow, his/her life must be really easy.

 I mean how can you not think of that when all you see on instagram is that they have the capacity to travel all around the world with their family while you have to work from 5am-3pm to save up for the next semester for your university life. You may even play victim in your life and this is sooo dangerous.

I avoid feeling like this, and I always tell myself that Allah gives everyone struggles, maybe that person is capable of buying 10 houses, but do you know her/his struggle with work or family or even their love life? You don't. Everyone has personal struggles, you just dont see it. At the end of the day, you only will see the surface of their life. Well, the ones they choose to inform you via pictures or tweet. Instead of feeling victimized by your situation, there’s another solution. Be grateful for everything, that includes your mishaps, and everything good in life.

That is another concept of seeing gratitude, yes? I came across this, once.

“Why should I be grateful for my results? If I do that, I wouldn't have to work hard anymore, because you know I would just be complacent with what I have”

Try seeing it this way.

“I am grateful for having this bad feeling of not getting into dean’s list, because I know that I have to work harder in the next semester”

There you see, there is a concept of redha and wanting to be better.

So I guess that's all. Goodbye and Salam Aidilfitri everyone. 

Midnight thoughts

How do you know when things are going the way it should be?

I stopped asking myself that 2 years ago. I was sick of trying to be perfect because I have learned the hard way that there is no such thing as perfection. Humans, we make mistakes, then we learn and we grow. I learn to practice gratitude everyday. But somehow or rather, I still am scared. I am scared of what the future holds. Although I make plans, god knows what will happen in the future. Where would I be 5 years from now? Should I take the chances presented in front of me? Even though I have to leave my family and friends behind? Some people just take the chance for they think that if they dont, they would never be able to forgive themselves. But what stops me? Fear? Fear of what?

Also when I try to be myself and then I listen to other people talking about me. I stopped being myself. I stopped being 'super happy' as they would say. But for what? I dont get to live forever. So why does what others think matter now? Sometimes I suppress the things I want to say, because hey it might be too sensitive for others. Now I think that I should stop doing that to myself and if you my friend is having difficulty trying to please and fit in this thing we call society. Stop.

Attitude

Rule number one in life: Everything is your fault. Yes, that includes the cat that 'ate' your homework. The sooner you take responsibility for the downfalls in your life. The easier your life would be. The easier it is for you to take ownership for the successes that happened in your life. Dont get me wrong, my definition of everything includes both,the mishaps and also the rainbows or sunshines that had happened in your life. Easier said than done. 

The easiest example I can give to you, if you have the attitude that screams 'my parents are not working hard enough to buy me this and that'. When you start taking responsibility, your attitude will change from 'my parents owe me this' to 'it's my fault, i am asking too much and giving too little. I should work/ study harder. Perhaps I could work around to earn the money I need for the vacation I planned with X and Z'

You see in life, no one owes you anything.

Second scenario, might be 'my boyfriend is so boring, he never takes me out for cool dates anymore', when you start taking responsibility for your life. Your attitude will change into 'hey maybe it's my fault too, I never contribute anything. Maybe he's out of ideas and maybe he wants something in return. Relationship is about give and take right? I should start making plans to make our dates more fun and exciting'

You see, your partner does not owe you anything. If you want a happy and fulfilling relationship, then make an initiative to change your current relationship.

You may not realize that you have been doing this 'pointing finger' game. The moment you begin taking ownership for your life. The easier it is. Why? Because you no longer depend on anyone. You dont have to wait for X and Z to change so your life would be more colorful. The cold hard truth is that, whatever happens in your life, is your own responsibility. No one should be blamed, for the bad grades you earned except for you. But the silver lining in this is that, it shows how powerful you are as a human being. You can change your life. That begins once you change your attitude towards the world.

Detachment

Hi guys!

So guess who's back? Throws confetti to myself. Yay. Im back and enjoying every second of the semester break.

Aside from that, everything has been great. And slowly getting better. InshaAllah. Anyway, I had recently bought a book called 'Reclaim your heart' written by Yasmin Mogahed

This book talks about detachment. Detachment from the dunya and that your love for Allah SWT should be bigger than any creature or material things in this dunya. There are certain things, that I don't agree with the author, but I cant seem to recall what it is. Well, but the point is, that, this is a really good book, especially if you're recovering from a heart break or if you have lost someone and you're trying to mend that beautiful heart of yours. winks*

I needed this book. In all honesty, I had a hard time, knowing that Akid aka bestfriend/ boyfriend is going abroad for 5 years. 5 GOOD YEARS. But honestly, I think after loads of reflection. I am starting to accept it. God knows, why we didnt meet earlier?! But, im so glad that we did cross our path after all. Nope, I was not the girl who cries every night thinking that i'd be 'single' for 5 years. Ha! Now, puts on shades* where are my girl friends? Just kidding.

I realized that us humans, when we give our hearts to one person or when we love something so much, we forget. That actually, the one that we should love the MOST is Allah SWT. Reminding myself of this concept, made me accept and somehow I was at peace with myself because when you love the Creator the most, there's nothing that you can't do and like the author says you will never experience heart break. Well you will, but you wouldnt feel the loss too much because you know, whoever and whatever goods that come your way are gifts that came from the Creator and you also learn to be grateful.

All in all, I recommend this book to everyone. Regardless, if you're naturally a happy person or if you're in a state of hardship.

Until then,
Goodnight everyone.