Midnight thoughts

How do you know when things are going the way it should be?

I stopped asking myself that 2 years ago. I was sick of trying to be perfect because I have learned the hard way that there is no such thing as perfection. Humans, we make mistakes, then we learn and we grow. I learn to practice gratitude everyday. But somehow or rather, I still am scared. I am scared of what the future holds. Although I make plans, god knows what will happen in the future. Where would I be 5 years from now? Should I take the chances presented in front of me? Even though I have to leave my family and friends behind? Some people just take the chance for they think that if they dont, they would never be able to forgive themselves. But what stops me? Fear? Fear of what?

Also when I try to be myself and then I listen to other people talking about me. I stopped being myself. I stopped being 'super happy' as they would say. But for what? I dont get to live forever. So why does what others think matter now? Sometimes I suppress the things I want to say, because hey it might be too sensitive for others. Now I think that I should stop doing that to myself and if you my friend is having difficulty trying to please and fit in this thing we call society. Stop.